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Dick Cheney is the target
of a vast middle-of-the-road conspiracy that includes the Government Accounting Office, the Associated Press, Judicial Watch,
the nation of France, and the U.S. Attorney in Houston. He's being investigated and is under threat of indictment. This is a travesty. How can the country expect a man who
resides at an undisclosed location to account for his own whereabouts? Billionaires must not stand idly while our friend is
hounded by such shameless truth seekers. Below is a response to the various accusations that will dispel any doubts about
the Vice President's integrity.
Enron-Style Accounting at Halliburton
The Accusation: When
Cheney was at the helm of Halliburton, the company improperly changed the way it calculated profits, adding $89 million in
revenues to its books. The company recently paid $7.5 million to settle a lawsuit brought against it by the Securities Exchange
Commission (SEC) for these accounting maneuvers. Now four former finance employees at Halliburton contend that high-level
and systemic accounting fraud occurred at the company during Cheney’s leadership that goes far beyond that outlined
by the SEC in its civil suit.
Our Defense:
$ The Bush administration has put only one Enron executive behind
bars—so how bad can accounting fraud really be?
Nigerian Bribery Scandal
The Accusation:
During Dick Cheney’s tenure as Halliburton CEO in the late 1990s, $180 million in allegedly illegal payments were made
to Nigerian officials by a consortium of companies, including Halliburton’s wholly-owned subsidiary Kellogg, Brown &
Root, in connection with the construction of an excellent natural-gas plant in Nigeria.
Our Defense:
$
Why can’t we bribe Nigerian officials to win huge government contracts when we do it at home all the time?
$ Who
wasn’t taken in by that e-mail spam?
U.S. Secret Energy Task Force Meetings
The Accusation:
In early 2001, Dick Cheney met in secret with a large number of energy lobbyists, including executives from Enron, to formulate
the nation’s energy policy. The fight to keep these meetings and 13,500 pages of documents secret made it to the Supreme
Court, where a ruling by Cheney’s good chum Justice Scalia conveniently delayed the decision until after the election.
Our
Defense:
$ It’s not a secret meeting if everyone knows about it.
$ 13,500 pages of documents is a lot of pages
of documents.
Doing Business in Iran, Iraq and Libya
The Accusation:
Under Cheney, Halliburton did business with terrorist sponsors Iran, Iraq and Libya, despite strict US sanctions prohibiting
business with these countries. Charges include the claim that Halliburton, through a subsidiary, did $73 million in business
with Iraq. The Treasury Department has referred the case to the U.S. Attorney in Houston.
Our Defense:
$
He did not have financial intercourse with that rogue state.
Coordinating No-Bid Contracts
The
Accusation: According to an Army Corps of Engineers email, the decision to award a no-bid contract worth up to $7 billion
to a Halliburton subsidiary was “coordinated” with Cheney’s office.
Our Defense:
$ Who’s
a judge going to believe, the Army Corps of Engineers?
Supreme Court Cronyism
The Accusation:
It was inappropriate for Dick Cheney to loan the use of Air Force Two to Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia while Scalia
was presiding over a case titled Sierra Club et. al. v. Cheney. Also, public trust was undermined when Cheney spent three
days together with Justice Scalia hunting ducks on the estate of an oil industry executive.
Our Defense:
$
Who hasn’t lent their jet to a friend in need?
$ The media pundits just wanted an excuse to call an incident Waterfowl-Gate.
Draft
Dodger
The Accusation: Dick Cheney showed cowardice and skirted his patriotic duties when he requested and
received five deferments to escape the draft in Vietnam before becoming one of the most vocal and
ardent war proponents in the White House. He explained, “I had other priorities.”
Our Defense:
$
Cheney more than made up for dodging the draft by starting a whole war in Iraq.
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